Missing
by My Fallen One
Summary: After five years of loving him, of being his lover, Hermione Granger has given up all hope that he will ever love her back. She decides to leave him forever... But does she make the right decision? A one shot song fic to Missing by Evanescence.


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot that my mind creates. All characters belong to JK Rowling. Also the song Missing belongs to the wonderful group Evanescence.

AN: So, this is a song fic to the song Missing by Evanescence (you would know that if you read the disclaimer…. lol) So yeah. One shot. Hope you like it!

Missing

By: My Fallen One

They were lovers. But that was all. He had made it completely clear that he wanted nothing more, but still, nothing less. He sought to justify their status using the looming threat of Lord Voldemort as his excuse. He told her that she would be in danger had they been found out, worse if they were in a 'relationship.'

But still, all the excuses that Severus could give Hermione, couldn't change the feeling that she had developed for him. So for five long years, since her sixth year at Hogwarts, they kept their relationship as lover and just friends.

They were very secretive and that was how he wanted to keep it. So, it was how she kept it too. She loved him, but she would never tell him. She would never speak those words to him, or give him the satisfaction of knowing he had stolen her heart. Mostly, she would never tell him, for the fear of loosing him. She knew he only wanted and intimate partner. Their relationship could be seen as that of girlfriend and boyfriend, but there were absolutely no strings attached. And that was the way he wanted it, so that was the way she kept it.

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again._

_Maybe someday you'll look up,_

_And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one_

_Isn't something missing?_

But finally, after five years and six months, to be exact, she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't contain the feelings she had for him anymore. Every night, after they had had sex, he would fall asleep on his stomach with an arm draped over her stomach and she would just watch him. Some nights, a tear or two would even escape from her eye.

Throughout all the years of putting on a façade, Hermione had learned very well how to hide and suppress her emotions. And now, she feared that the emotions that she had suppressed for far too long, were tearing at her very essence. And she couldn't take it any longer. Didn't he know how she felt for him? Couldn't he see it in her eyes? He was her first love, he was the man she had given her virginity to at the fragile age of 16. And yet, it didn't seem like he acknowledged her feelings, he only craved her body.

So, tonight was the night she decided. When his breaths had finally evened out, she carefully lifted his arm from her stomach and quietly moved off his bed. She walked around to his side where his head was facing. Her heart caught in her throat, he was such a handsome man. She loved this man. She had to fight herself to force back tears. Then, she bent and kissed his forehead. His brows furrowed for a moment, then he went back into a deep sleep. She turned to his night table and wrote him a simple note with the parchment, quill, and ink he left in the drawer.

She then picked up his robe from the chair near the door and wrapped it around her body and quietly exited his room… for good.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know_

_You've forgotten me long ago._

_Am I that unimportant?_

_Am I so insignificant?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

As she made her way through the corridors of Hogwarts back to her room, she couldn't help but let the tears flow from her brown eyes. She loved him so much and now she was about to give him up. All the memories of him flashed through her mind and made the tears flow even more. She remembered how after graduation, she joined the Order with him and stayed on at Hogwarts to become his apprentice. When the apprentice ship with him was over, she then became McGonagall's apprentice just to stay close to him.

When she reached her room, tears still falling from her eyes, she went to her already packed trunk. She then removed his robe, folded it, and placed it neatly in her trunk, taking a piece of him with her. Then, she went to her bed where she had already placed cloths and a robe for her to wear. She grabbed them and headed to her bath for a quick shower.

Now clean and dressed, she went for her wand which was in the drawer of the nightstand that was beside her bed. She shrunk her trunk, which was already charmed to four times the amount it actually could, then placed it in a pocket in her robes. Last was to send the note that she had already written to McGonagall, thanking her for the chance to be her apprentice and telling her that she had to leave on very short notice. She tied the note around her owl Elisha's leg and sent him off. And with one last look around her room, she set off towards the Hogwarts gates, where she could apparate to London, to the flat that she occupied only during the summers or weekend when she needed a break.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now. _

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

Hermione would always love him, there was no doubt in her mind. He was no longer Professor Snap to her but Severus, the man who captured her heart. But it's hard to love someone who doesn't love you back. She would have given anything to hear Severus whisper in her ear that he loved her and that he couldn't live without her. But it was just a fantasy that replayed in her head giving her false hope. Now, that false hope was gone…

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again_

_I know what you do to yourself_

_I breathe deep and cry out_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

She had finally reached the edge of the Hogwarts grounds, and with one last look at the castle, one last breath, she apparated. She apparated out of the life of the man she loved. She left, hoping to never look back.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now. _

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

'Love… did Severus even know how to love?' she questioned herself as she made her way up the stairs of the building to her flat. The charms she placed prevented her from apprating straight in. So instead, she apparated into the lobby.

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed_

_Knowing you don't care_

_And if I sleep, just to dream of you_

_I'll wake without you there. _

_Isn't something missing_

_Isn't something?_

Now she lay in the bed of her flat. She felt so alone. Tears again began to flow from her eyes. The Gods knew she loved him so much. She would have done anything for him. She would have even joined Voldemort's cause if it meant she could stay by his side and love him until the day she died.

Death… oh how she wanted to die at this very moment. A life without him was nothing to her. She would go to Harry and Ron in a few days time; they might help to cheer her up. But for now, she cried. She spent that whole time sobbing until, finally she cried herself to sleep as the light from the sun began to break on the horizon. And so she slept, even though it was not peaceful dreams that filled her thoughts.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now. _

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

Severus woke that morning to and empty cold space beside him. But the temperature of the spot that she normally occupied, he could tell she had been gone awhile. His brows furrowed in confusion, until he turned and read her note-

_Goodbye… my love._

was all that it said. Three simple words. She left. She loved him. He felt so stupid. He should have told her. He should have told her years ago how he felt. He loved her too. He loved her so very much. She would never come back. He could only imagine what she though of him. She must have though that all he wanted her for was her body, for the sex. 'Great job Snape, you screwed up big time!'

She was gone and he was now forever alone.


End file.
